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2004 Romantic Times Convention
CJ Takes Manhattan...... By Force!!!
by CJ Hollenbach
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It seems like I had just unpacked my luggage from the Romantic Times Kansas City convention when I found myself packing for the New York convention. The magazine decided to switch to a spring get together in the Big Apple. It was being called a "mini-convention". Does RT do anything MINI? This trip I found myself going with Ellora's Cave co-cover hunk and my latest discovery, Rodney Chatman. The publishing company was footing the bill for our presence at their opening night kickoff party at the hotel. CEO of Ellora's Cave, Patty Marks also joined us on our flight from Ohio. We arrived in NYC without a problem. It had been a while since I was in New York and had forgotten about the cab drivers. It was a white-knuckle ride to our hotel. The cars were so close to each other you could slap the face of the person in the next cab or check their watch for the time. Not to mention the speed at which the cabs flew down the avenues. We were all surprised that the streets weren't littered with dead bodies of pedestrians. I tried to warn the RT novice, Rodney as we were getting ready for the party what to expect. To be honest, I was a bit surprised myself by the reaction we received. OK, so we were wearing next to nothing in our Egyptian skirts as requested by Ellora's Cave. As we stepped off the elevator, we were mobbed by a sea of female romance fans. But, you would have thought Ben and J. Lo were getting off the elevator by the million camera flashes that went off. We were quite the hit and were later told our photos were being turned into Christmas cards! Happy Holidays, Ladies! (I am still waiting for that call from Hallmark!) After getting over the shock of $8 drinks in the big city, this boy from Hooterville found himself having a great time. Another Ellora's Cave anthology cover boy, Bill Freda joined Rodney and I greeting the conventioneers. I still can't believe we wore those skirts in public! I think its a cinch now I will never be president from the photos I've seen. Although, I could be mayor of Las Vegas someday. Since Ellora's Cave was paying for our stay we weren't at anybody's beck and call and could do as we pleased in the city. Rodney, my web-designer Kelli Salkin and I decided to go to the Empire State building. We looked up and there it was. It seemed to disappear whenever we got close. 3 hours later with our feet bloody from walking we made it into the building. They herded us in like cattle. If you didn't want the $25 tour they treated you like a bastard at a family reunion and made you wait in line forever. That big monkey we had heard so much about must have had the day off because he was nowhere to be found. Rats! We finally made it to the top and the view was breathtaking. Finally, the 3 of us looked at each other and decided we were getting dizzy from the heights and made our way back inside. But, we couldn't get out before seeing the $17 photo they took of us as a momento. Luckily (?) my eyes were closed in it and we decided against buying it so, they kicked us out. Memories.... The next day we were to go The New York Times newspaper to meet their advertising director. I had appeared in an ad for "Tales From the Temple" in the periodical's book review section. I think it was Patty's idea for us to walk back to the hotel in our T-shirts with "GOT SEX ?" emblazoned on the front. Both Rodney's and my T-shirts were purposely tight. Once again, we did not expect the reaction we received. There was bald and buff Rodney, and me with my hair streaming down past my waist, walking the streets of New York in too tight jeans. I think people thought we were porn stars...or hustlers. We heard a lot of "I got your SEX right here!" in various ethnic accents. The T-shirts attracted a LOT of attention. Well, I think it was the T-shirts anyway.... The strange thing was we entered the back of our hotel when we returned from The New York Times trip only to find the Empire State Building was 2 blocks over from us. It took us 3 hours to find the tallest building in New York that was only 2 streets away. Anyone want to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge? At one of the luncheons I noticed a fan sitting across from me at the table with her mouth literally hanging open in awe. She came over later and said she noticed I had eaten the chocolate mousse for dessert. "I didn't think you cover models ate that stuff." she said. I replied "Oh we do....We just throw it up later...." Once again her mouth hung open. Before the luncheon ended they asked who had a birthday in October. That person could take the complimentary bottle of champagne on the table as door prize. Rodney being a Halloween baby claimed it also adding "I was a treat...not a TRICK!" Being the ever-resourceful one, I snagged a bottle for myself from a deserted table. Leaving the luncheon, I got into the elevator and was met by model Evan Scott and his better, blonder half, Tamara. She complained that her birthday was also in October, but there was no champagne at all on their table. (Location is everything!) So, being the bigger man, I handed her my bottle and wished her a happy birthday. She related to me later that she overheard a man not from our convention say to his wife in the hotel lobby "You know those guys on the romance covers are REAL people! I just saw one with a huge chest and blonde hair down to his waist!" Tamara laughed and said "WHO do YOU think he was talking about?!" The funnier thing was the man and his wife were standing next to me on the elevator when I gave her the champagne. I hope he tells his friends the romance cover model was chivalrous too! The Book Fair on Saturday was pandemonium. Book buyers and fans were everywhere. My ad in The New York Times had brought in a lot of new customers. We were stuck in what seemed like a hallway in the hotel. At these things, as in life, it's location, location, location! Rodney was loving every minute of it though, and the smile never left his face. It was very cool to see everything though his eyes. We signed and posed for countless photos and autographs. He would later thank me for the best time of his life. (You're welcome, Bud!) I even managed to sneak away and autograph some "Men of Romance" calendars. (I AM "Mr. August", you know!) As I was bent over the table signing a stack of calendars wearing the costume I wore for my Ellora's Cave cover I heard several women laughing and cameras clicking. It seems my tiny black mini-skirt didn't quite cover up all my assets from the back. I asked the 3 startled, red-faced women behind me "Were you taking pictures of my ass?!" 2 said "No", but one said "YES!!!!" and they laughed their head off. I already told you I will never be president. Ah well... We
left the convention right after the book fair. I was still dazed
from usual lack of sleep and too much alcohol that accompanies these
affairs. Being saddened to leave so many people that have come to
be more like family than friends. But, I know they will all be there
next year at the convention in St. Louis. Have to go now. I have
some packing to do.
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