The "Fasten Your Seatbelt" light was still on during my flight to Detroit when I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore. OK, so the plane took off from Ohio. Work with me on this.....

I was flying to the Motor City to promote the romance industry at The Michigan Women's Expo sponsored by the Meijer's grocery store chain. It was a trade show and I was to be joined by various authors.

Upon arriving at the Detroit airport I was met by a man who introduced himself as my "protection". I looked puzzled. Then, he said "Your bodyguard....." I thought to myself "CJ, you have finally arrived! You have a bodyguard!" No, he wasn't Kevin Costner and I certainly wasn't Whitney Houston, but it was still amazing. I told the bodyguard "Boy, do YOU have and easy job today!" I toyed with the idea of having him beat up somebody "just because" but I figured the little old lady sitting across from me had enough problems with her seeing eye dog and all.

The bodyguard ushered me to a black stretch limousine that was waiting for me. Believe me, it's the only way to travel. I was told that Hilary Clinton had recently ridden in the same car. Yes, I think I have arrived.

I had only a short time to get ready for my first appearance at the Expo after being dropped at the hotel. The bodyguard asked me if he could take a photo with me before he left. Of course, I obliged. After all he saved me from the throngs of adoring fans who wanted a piece of me. Well, that old lady at the airport was giving me dirty looks!

They asked me look very "romance cover model". Hair down and flowing, puffy sleeved pirate shirt, velvet pants and thigh high leather boots. I got on the hotel's elevator by myself. As luck would have it the hotel was full of Japanese businessmen there for a convention. The elevator doors opened to let on no less than 8 Japanese men. "Oh God!" I thought. American males would have run in terror upon seeing me. But, these businessmen didn't bat an eye and said "Hello"...I think. I figured they were used to seeing Godzilla on a regular basis so I wasn't a big deal.

The limo driver informed me on the way to the trade show I would be working with dear friend and national treasure, author Heather Graham. She is one of the most talented and classiest women I have ever met. Not to mention, one of the nicest. Heather was there to sign her novels "Picture Me Dead" and "When We Touch". I was there for Polaroid photos and autographs with fans. The 2 blondes made a pretty good team, if I do say so myself.

The free photos with fans went over well. I was looking rather "PEC-tacular" with my open, chest-baring shirt. More than one of the ladies asked if they could tip me a dollar in my velvet pants.

Unfortunately, there was a booth across from us that was selling mushroom marinade. They grilled mushrooms all day long and the aroma always managed to blow in our direction. "That smells like SHITACKI" I said. I will probably have to burn the clothes I wore that weekend.

The next day I worked with author Jyl Steinback "America's Healthiest Mom" who was there for a cooking demonstration and to promote her cookbook "Cook Once: Eat For A Week". Jyl was a perky dynamo from Arizona. I felt a little sad for her when so many of the people at the trade show dropped her book after finding out it wasn't an "Atkins-type" quick fix. She tried to explain it was a "lifestyle" cookbook. Jyl asked me to join her at the hotel's gym at 6:30 am for a cardio workout. I told you she was a dynamo.

One of the true highlights of the weekend was meeting one of the last living MUNCHKINS from "The Wizard Of OZ", Mickey Carroll. At 85 years old and 4 foot seven inches, he was there to celebrate the 65th anniversary of the classic movie. He was a pleasure to meet and is a true Hollywood legend.

I couldn't leave the hotel without meeting Ruby Ann Boxcar author of "Ruby Ann's Down Home Trailer Park BBQin' Cookbook". The flamboyant writer packed the trade show with fans who waited to see her cooking demonstration. Heather Graham made the introduction in the hotel lobby.

The desk clerk at the front desk at the hotel came over to me while I was having drinks with the authors. "Are you FABIO?" she asked. "I saw you getting out of that limo...and just figured." I laughed and said "He's my OLDER brother and couldn't make it this weekend." She looked puzzled, but didn't question it. One day I will rob a bank and that man will go to jail, I swear.

My weekend over the rainbow ended almost as quickly as it started. Another limo ride back to the airport. A short flight back to Ohio and I'm ready for my next adventure. But, it is true what they say as corny as it sounds. There's no place like home.

Pictures

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CJ with author Jyl Steinback, and "the bodyguard", with the stretch limo.	CJ with Heather Graham, and fans.	CJ, Munchkin Mickey Carroll, and Heather Graham	CJ, posing for his fans.
Mickey Carroll, CJ, and Heather Graham	At the book signing.	CJ with Jyl Steinback.	CJ with Ruby Ann Boxcar