Sorry this took so long to write about my adventures at the latest Romantic Times convention but I got caught up visiting my friends Britney and Lindsay at the "spa". There I was commiserating with those 2 wacky, pantyless chicks telling them I had just come from Houston where I drank too much, ate too little and slept even less. Somebody must have overheard me because before you know it they asked me to try on this white jacket with sleeves that tied in the back. I don't know much about fashion, but I do know you never white before Memorial Day and should have known better. Long story short, they just let me out....

I boarded a packed plane bound for Texas and ran into fellow RT conventioneer and Clevelander, Pam Seres. Ironically, she was in the seat next to me. It would turn out to be a week of ironies. We hit more than our share of in flight turbulence and Pam went for the air sickness bag. I said "Pam, you don't want to be the woman everyone talks about when they get off the plane!" I pleaded with her not to vomit and succeeded. I may try walking on water next.

Upon my arrival at the hotel I headed directly for the bar where I met my web designer, Kelli Salkin. Downing more than my share of rum and cokes was a good thing because it prepared me for the bill for those drinks! After they revived me I vowed to find a liquor store and to find someone to share a cab with back to the airport the following Sunday for my 7:00am return flight. What was I thinking when I booked that?

My roommate at the hotel and "Mr. Romance" contestant, Ozzie Walle showed up later and I had the first night to myself. Ozzie arrived the next day. He was a rather quiet guy who shared the pages of the "Between Your Sheets" calendar with me. Ozzie was a smoldering Mexican model, who definitely appealed to the ladies.

One of the first parties of the week was thrown by a company known for it's novels of a more primal nature and was a bit of a ho-hummer. Their festivities have deteriorated into little more than a male burlesque show with less personality It was full of guys who you won't see again and won't care to anyway. I didn't stay long and went out to meet and greet. Someone came over to me and said "They are saying you're the most famous guy here!" I had to laugh and I did. Then, I thought "I AM the most famous guy here!" And, then I laughed even harder. I told the guy "Yes, I am and it's a sad commentary!" He laughed introducing himself and his beautiful wife. Turns out he was Canadian author, Jeff Buick, who is also a successful realtor. He took several photos.

This had to be one of the busiest conventions I've ever attended. I always seemed to be going somewhere for an interview or photo op. I did a video taped intro for Circle Of Seven Production's "Lonesome Losers" internet show. One morning getting up at the crack of dawn to do an interview for a Houston AM TV show with the biggest hair I think I've ever had. I did have a good time flirting with the show's co-host hottie, Christine Terrell.

GQ" magazine was there doing a story on the "Mr. Romance" contest. Being the only guy there who was in the first contest over 15 years ago the reporter had to talk to me. I informed the writer that all the other former contestants were either dead or in nursing homes. Of course, they did take my photo for the article. And of course, I was wearing a costume for best-selling author, Heather Graham's "Western Vampire Ball". I may have been the only person at the ball dressed as half cowboy and half vampire. I'm sure the photographer was scratching his head thinking "What the f--k!", but they did take a photo! I just hope the article isn't another repeat of last year's newspaper bloodbath of the convention. Yours truly took a major hit in the piece, but I'm getting used to it. Not that I remember, but the idiot wrote "CJ could easily open for White Snake as appear on a romance novel cover" and "he looks like an in shape Meatloaf", (He was referring to the 80's rock singer not the entree.) For some reason male reporters tend to make fun of what they don't understand and don't care to. Fingers crossed this time will be different.

The conventions are always a time to reconnect with old friends and this one was no exception. I ran into former "Mr. Romance" finalist, Terry Terranova. I actually voted for him when I was a judge when he competed 5 years ago. He is a talented guy and looked better than he did when I saw him last. He looked down at my RT convention badge and said "Hey, how come you have COVER MODEL twice on your badge?" I never noticed that the words "Cover model" were repeated twice on my badge, printed in larger print, one above the other. I thought to myself "Maybe I had arrived?" I told Terry "Well, maybe if YOU showed up more than once every 5 years yours would say that too!"

I will have to admit maybe after all these years I have arrived. So many people came up to me and mentioned the covers they had seen me on or how they had heard nothing but good things about me. It is a reputation I have worked damn hard on and am very proud of. I had one woman come over to me in tears with an apology. She said she had met me last year and said she thought I had treated her with an attitude. I assured her I have NEVER brought an attitude to a RT convention. With tears streaming down her face she said "I know! It was ME! Everybody told me I was crazy and you're not like that!" I gave her a hug and we parted friends.

The Playgirl Man Of The Year, Julian Fantechi, who is on my "Between Your Sheets" calendar was there and was experiencing his first RT. He is also the first male model I have ever met at a convention that came over to introduce himself. For some reason, most of the guys wait to be introduced, but not this guy. I think it's an Alpha male thing. "I've heard so much about you! You're the guy we're all aspiring to be!" he said grabbing my shoulder and giving a firm handshake. Julian created more than his share of controversy, which I think he rather enjoyed. The man likes to push the envelope. He pushed it all the way to the mailbox in Houston too. Julian is quite a colorful character and funny too.

Cover model pal, Bill Freda was the emcee of the "Mr. Romance" contest. For some reason the pageant is just a shadow of it's former self. The 2006 contest had less than 10 contestants. When I was in the contest we had over 40. Everything seems to be downsizing these days. Billy had asked me earlier in the week if I would mind reading an intro at the beginning of the show. I agreed and never heard another word. Five minutes before the show was to start, I got word Bill wanted to see me backstage. I found him and he handed me the script to read. Of course, I was once again having vision problems with my contact lens and only had one in. Bill said I didn't have time to get my reading glasses and I had to wing it. I sounded like a total illiterate in my reading. Thanks Bill.

My roommate Ozzie had complained to me that he didn't bring a lot of the wardrobe he needed for the pageant. Things looked grim for him. I had a similar experience years ago when I roomed with the Canadian aspiring cover model and pageant contestant, David Deslandes. He showed me the miserable wardrobe he brought in a rolled up duffel bag. David held up a tie proudly saying "This is my father's tie..." I said "And it looks like it....which is why you ain't wearing it!" I did loan David most of the clothes and shoes he wore on stage. He ended up coming in 2nd place in the pageant. A woman came up to him after the show and told him "I love that tie!" David looked at me and I just winked.

Could lightening strike twice and another one of my convention roomies win the "Mr. Romance" contest with my help? I was going to do my damndest to see if he could." I went through the clothes I had brought with me and started handing things to Ozzie saying "Here, wear this...and this....and this!" His eyes light up like a kid at Christmas. Hey, it doesn't look good for me to room with a loser.

The pageant had 8 contestants. They had even pulled in a diminutive army soldier at the last minute. I nudged author, Tina Wainsscott who was seated ahead of me and said "He won't win, but first or second place for sure..." The previous year's "Mr. Romance" winner Rodney Chatman came out to give his farewell speech that would end his reign. To my surprise, in a classy move Rodney ended his speech by thanking me saying "Without CJ's help I wouldn't be here!" There was a collective "Ahhhhhhh" from the audience and I was also touched.

Well, the soldier came in first place and Tina just turned around in her seat and smiled. Ozzie came in second! He told me back in our room "I was very lucky to have you as my roommate! You're the best!" I wasn't about to argue.
Dorchester Publishing sponsored the party following the show. They had a 40 foot table covered with free novels for the conventioneers to pick from. It was like a shark feeding frenzy when they released the fans on the books. I saw a few stacks of books written by my new pal, Jeff Buick. I said to one of the women there "Do they have anything written by Steve Chevrolet?" A woman asked me what kind of books I was looking for. I told her I was looking for books for a friend of mine "Anything with a castle or a kilt on the cover." I said. Before I knew it, fans were handing me books with castles and kilts. I went back to my room with my armload of books. I wedged myself into the elevator and who was on the elevator but Jeff Buick. The lady next to me had a novel by Jeff right on top of her stack. I told him "Jeff, why don't you autograph this for her!" The next thing you know he was signing autographs for everyone in the elevator with a huge smile. I suggested he set up a table in the elevator since he was doing so well in there.

At the book fair on Sat. morning I autographed my calendar with Julian, Ozzie and Sly Bowden. As I was sitting there a fan came over and said shaking her finger at me "Do you know who you look like?" she asked. I laughed and thought I hadn't heard any "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" jokes all week, so I figured I was due. She said, "That guy CJ!" I replied "That guy is way older than me!" and was hysterical. How could I not be? Dayna from BYS piped up and said "That IS CJ!" The flustered woman apologized profusely, but I couldn't stop laughing. Julian mysteriously disappeared after that, but we still keep in touch.

I finished up the week by doing several taped interviews for a documentary film company. Stick a camera in front of me and I can talk for hours. The producer said he was very pleased with my footage and asked me if they can to do some more filming with me later this year when I host a contest in Kingsport, Tennessee at a women's expo.

Thinking I had escaped any of the usual drama at the convention, I breathed a sigh of relief. But, my relief was short lived. Out of nowhere the drama found me in the hotel's lobby. I won't dignify the incident here, but I once again took the high road and went immediately back to my room to chug the last of my bottle of rum in record time. Yes, I did find a liquor store. Have to admit I caused a commotion there when I went in with my hair down and a tight shirt on. The female employees had a lot of questions to ask.

This RT convention probably had one of the friendliest groups of people I can recall. I really hated to say goodbye, but I had to be up by 4 am to leave for the airport Sunday morning. I did share a cab with author friend, Lori Avocoto. I had accomplished BOTH my goals that week. Finding a liquor store and someone to share a cab. Maybe I need loftier goals.

Next year's convention will be in Pittsburgh and I can drive, so no more early flights, strip searches or turbulence to deal with. Although, I may miss those searches....

If you see me next year on the arm of a older woman it will probably be my 95 year old grandmother, who lives outside Pittsburgh. But, she will probably tell you she's only 94. Just humor her. See you there.