Some people say I have been blessed with "the gift of gab." Although I'm not so sure it isn't really a curse, several major TV talk shows might disagree. Even as a child I dreaded bringing home my report cards with the "C" in conduct that read "Christopher James is a very social child and is very talkative with his peers. We think he will grow out of this in time." NOT!

Who knew one day my "gift" would bring me national recognition? After interviews on Entertainment Tonight and the Today Show, I most recently found myself doing a Valentine's Day romance show on cable access TV in Akron, Ohio. At first, I thought how the mighty have fallen, but I got over it.

The producer was worried that I couldn't fill a half-hour time slot talking about my career, which has spanned 25 years. I assured her, "Honey, I can fill an hour talking about my hair!" To calm her concern, I included my romance author friend Erin McCarthy and EC Publisher Raelene Gorlinsky to appear with me.

My first national exposure on TV came on The Jerry Springer Show. I had the distinction of being a guest on the last show to tape in Cincinnati before it moved to Chicago and became the toothless, white trash, chair-throwing freak show that we all know today. The theme of the show was "From Nerd To Knock Out," and it featured high school ugly ducklings who had turned into swans. A woman in the audience asked me out. She even had all her teeth. A few weeks after that show an 8-year-old boy in an airport pointed at me and said "I saw you on Jerry Springer!" and ran to grab his mother to meet me. The power of the media is truly scary.

The Springer show called me again several months later, saying they wanted me for another show. I was flattered. "We want you to be a sperm donor," the producer said. We thought you'd be great for it." It seems a woman wanted to pick from three guys on the show to father her child. She didn't want to be artificially inseminated either. I had to beg off.

After that, I managed to do every local talk show in Ohio, twice. The Morning Exchange in Cleveland was an institution. The host said, "I hear you did a commercial." I said, "No." "A movie?" he quizzed. I thought This guy has no clue why I'm here! I said, "I just did The Jerry Springer Show!"

I moved on to The Joan Rivers Show shortly after doing Search For The Most Romantic Man In America. The producers called all 40 contestants from the first Mr. Romance Novel Cover Model Pageant for interviews and chose three of us. I told them, "I will do anything you ask me to do." It seems the other 37 prima donnas with out-of-control male egos from the contest didn't get the premise of the show and proved themselves to be too difficult to work with. The guys later told me "They asked me to do the show, but I turned them down." I said "Oh, you turned down a chance to be on national TV? Smart move."

I made good on my promise to do anything they asked when they gave me a gravity defying piece of velveteen fabric to wear as a loin cloth. It was sweeps week. Naked men always seem to draw in big ratings and I was getting used to being naked in public at this point. The CBS censors even showed up and said they didn’t think we could do it. But do it we did. We even cut the loin cloths smaller.

Unfortunately, they also did my hair, and I ended up looked like a muscular Jessica Simpson. I tried to combout the big curls the hairdresser gave me but ended making them BIGGER. One of the judges on the show, Rhonda Shears the hostess of cable TV's Up All Night quipped, "How many hair-care products are you currently using?" I knew I was sunk, but my hair did look better than hers and I got my national exposure. I met Joan and Geraldo Rivera too.

I couldn't understand why I was constantly getting calls from talk shows until a producer told me why I was the perfect guest. "You are interesting. You can talk on camera and that camera loves you!" That was good enough for me.

The Gordon Elliott Show called for a show that was tentatively called "Playgirl Centerfold Search." The winner of that show would be a Playgirl centerfold. The producers loved me and the friends I was to come on with after a pre-interview. They gave me the first and longest time slot, the best outfits to wear, much to the annoyance of the other guys on the show. Producers later told me I had already been pre-picked to be the centerfold, hence the "star treatment."

I'm not sure where the show went wrong , but I did end up doing a mock centerfold striptease shoot with a Playgirl photographer I had worked with before. The audience went crazy when they played thetape of me doffing my duds and sprawling out on a grand piano. As usual, I ended up stripping down to my silk boxer shorts and dancing in another segment. The girls in my office commented, "You did seem to bounce a lot in that underwear. We're impressed!"

All the guys on the show ended up being ambushed on stage in a show twist we never saw coming. I had never been booed before on national TV. The guy seated next to me on stage literally went white and I thought was going to pass out from the audience attack.

I should have known that something was up when we were asked to sign a contract stating we couldn’t do any post-show publicity for six weeks. They asked all of us to be very over the top and full of ourselves. I was told to flex and kiss my biceps in an onstage mirror, which I thought would be hilarious. The audience didn't see it that way. When the show's topic came out in the TV Guide to my horror, it was "My Man's Ego Is Out Of Control". Luckily, anyone who saw it told me "You were on national TV and you looked great! Who cares what they said?"

Both friends who were supposed to appear with me bailed on me at the last minute and didn't do the show, despite having their plane tickets. The producers were livid and threatened a lawsuit. Their parting words to me were "YOU were picked to be the centerfold. We gave you everything and your friends robbed you a great career opportunity. We just wanted you to know. Have a nice life!" I haven't talked to either friend since.

Despite the bad taste the last show left in my mouth, I am still willing be a guest on a Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Interesting People show or at the very least, Oprah. Ladies, can we talk? I'm free next Tuesday.